As Facebook will tell you today, I’ve been lucky enough to spend 40 years on this magnificent planet.

Yesterday, I decided to create a list of the 40 things I’ve learned over the last 4 decades, as a way to remind myself of what’s important in life.

Here it is – My 40 Lessons in 40 Years:

1. You can’t escape your fate.

Fate is a concept I’m fascinated with, and one I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) to accept for what it is.

What is written is written, and so it will be. Amor Fati, as per Nietzsche; Hukam, as per the Sikh scriptures.

Call it what you may, but understand that it’s unavoidable, so accept it with a smile and brave it with determination.

2. Early mornings are magical.

There’s a reason why many belief systems stress the value of the period before sunrise; it’s a time of serenity & peace.

To rise early is not easy, nor should it be, but it’s your divine right.

3. Grief can destroy you, or it can take you to places you never imagined.

From the deepest pits of despair come the most inspirational stories of hope.

Your devastation at what happened to you holds within it a unique experience and perspective that when harnessed, can change your life.

4. Everyone has a lesson to teach you.

Throughout the course of our lives, we’ll meet countless people. Each of them has a story, a life experience, advice or lesson that we can apply in our own lives.

Unfortunately, we’re usually too busy judging them to realize this.

5. Gratitude is paramount.

There are so many people in this world living in utter despair, yet they continue to have hope and dream of a better future.

Conversely, there are so many people in this world who have everything they need, yet keep wanting more, unable to realize how fortunate they truly are.

It’s important to be grateful for what you have, not envious for what you don’t.

6. Writing is therapy.

I’m thankful to have rediscovered my love for writing over the last few years. I’ve come to realize that writing has provided me with an outlet few things can compare to.

7. Reading is a gift you should give yourself as often as you can.

To say I love books in an understatement.

I’ve watched Maharaja Ranjit Singh establish his empire; stood next to Malcom X as he called out racism in the United States; sat next to Nelson Mandela in his jail cell on Robben Island; witnessed Musashi become a legend in feudal Japan, and cheered ringside while witnessing Muhammad Ali float like a butterfly and sting like a bee – all thanks to books.

8. You can’t please everyone.

Not everyone will root for you.

Not everyone will like you.

Not everyone will be happy to see you doing well.

It took me a long time to accept this, but once I did, it felt as though a burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

9. Silence is golden.

We live in an age of extreme busyness. From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed, we are swamped with things to do. Our minds are under constant assault from worries, to-do lists and anxieties.

Simply closing my eyes for a few minutes and relishing the silence has helped me slow down.

10. We’re more alike than different.

Each of has a uniqueness that makes us who we are, but in this age of individuality, we tend to forget that we have a lot more in common with others than we think. When I began to view others based on our similarities rather than our differences, my life started to change.

11. Saying you’re religious and actually following what your faith says are two different things.

I am by no means an expert on any religious text, but from all I’ve read to date, I can safely say that very few people in this world practice what the scriptures they hold in such high regard state.

Divinity exists in these works, yet ignorance prevails in most that read them.

12. Words have immense power.

It’s important to chose your words carefully, for they can do damage that is irreversible.

13. Look past the surface.

Behind every facade you see is a person with flaws, fears and worries, just like you.

Don’t be fooled by the flash, cash, fame and words.

They’re all human, no different than you and I.

14. Everything you need is inside.

There is an indescribable power within each of us, yet we occupy ourselves looking for it everywhere else.

15. Do the right thing – because it’s at the right thing.

Do things because doing them is the right course of action, instead of for the praise or reward that may get as a result.

16. Accept nothing as fact.

You’re an intelligent being, yet you willfully keep believing things that deep down inside, you know are nonsense. Tradition, custom and the way things are should always be questioned and analyzed. If they’re true, they’ll withstand the scrutiny.

17. Each of us is a leader.

Regardless of your willingness to accept the title, you’re a leader. Someone is looking to you for guidance, for inspiration, for motivation. It’s a responsibility you should never take lightly.

18. Help everyone, even those you don’t like.

There are people in life that no matter what, you’re going to dislike, and that’s ok. With that said, a hallmark of living a good life is to help someone in their time of need, regardless of your differences.

19. Time is your most precious resource.

You wouldn’t hand your hard-earned money to imbeciles, yet you devote your time to them without a second thought.

That’s a problem.

20. Your opinion isn’t needed on every topic.

A fool is he who thinks he is qualified to give his opinion on matters he knows nothing about.

21. You have a sacred duty to remember where you come from.

It’s a tragedy of the gravest proportion when one willfully turns their back on who they are and where they come from.

To deliberately ignore and forget who you are is an insult of immense proportion to those who came before you.

22. You wield the pen.

One of the most liberating realizations one can have is that in the story of your life, you are the lone author.

Despite your suffering, despite all the pain & anguish you may have experienced, the story can still be a positive one.

23. Comfort is a killer.

It’s important to constantly challenge yourself, for stagnation is a disease. A big fish in a small pond relishes in its domination, not realizing its comfort is slowly killing it.

24. Be a voice for the voiceless.

The world is full of people who are subject to immense injustice, with no one willing to help them.

Have the courage to speak when you see a wrong, even if no one else is. The world needs more people who are willing to do the right thing.

25. Beware of experts.

No person in this world has it figured out, so don’t be fooled by such claims. There is no such thing as an expert; each of us is making mistakes, growing and learning as we go.

26. Make time for those that matter.

The time spent with those you love is more valuable than the rarest of jewels.

No matter how busy you are, you’ve got to make time for those you hold dear.

27. On your way up, help others.

In a world so focused on getting ahead at all costs, be someone who chooses to step back to help others along.

28. Humility is a superpower.

Humility is a key that unlocks many doors, which arrogance can slam shut forever.

29. Let go of hatred.

Hatred is poison.

It will destroy you if you let it, which is why it is important to learn how to let go and move on.

30. Failures hold lessons.

I’ve learned more from my losses than I have from my wins. Losing sucks, but there is always something to be gained from each defeat.

31. Be kind.

Kindness and sincerity are gifts we can give to others with every interaction.

A word of encouragement will cost you nothing, yet may make a world of difference in someone’s life.

32. Play your part

Each of has a part to play in making the world better.

We need to stop waiting for politicians to make decisions and others to take the first steps.

Take charge and be the change you wish to see.

33. Give more than you take.

Lead a life of service.

You were put here to give, not to take.

Yes, making a living is important, but increased numbers in your bank account should not come at the cost of a decline in your decency and humanity.

34. Titles are meaningless.

Titles suit books, not people.

Never forget you’re a person, no matter how lofty the words before your name are.

35. We’re all born twice.

Fate has allotted each of us two births.

The first occurs when we emerge from our mother’s womb and take our first breath.

The second occurs when we find our true purpose for being here.

The first occurs by nature, the second must be sought.

36. Be Present.

Being present is a priceless gift you can give yourself and those around you.

The past is done; the future uncertain; now is all that matters.

37. Be the good guy.

Just because the good guy doesn’t always win doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to be the good guy.

38. Look for beauty.

There is beauty everywhere in this world, but sometimes we refuse to take off the glasses of negativity so we can see it.

39. Happiness is a birthright.

We’re here fore such a short period of time, yet so much of it is consumed by worry, anxiety and stress. It doesn’t have to be that way.

40. There’s an ending.

One day, it will all be over.

Your life will come to an end.

This shouldn’t be something that gives way to dread, but rather as motivation to enjoy the precious time you have.

40 lessons – 40 years. Thank you all for the birthday wishes!

By now, we’ve all heard about the horrific discovery of the remains of 215 children on the grounds of a former residential school in Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada.

To say what happened to these children and countless others is sad would be an understatement of magnificent proportions.

What happened to them was pure evil, fueled by hate, intolerance and greed.

Over the past few days, I’ve been looking at my own children and thinking about how hard we are working to make them remember their Punjabi roots:

• We gave them names to reflect their culture.
• They’re enrolled in Punjabi classes.
• We try to speak the language with them as much as we can.
• We took them to Punjab to show them their ancestral village.
• We teach them about their faith and rich history.

We do all of this because we don’t want them to forget who they are. As the children of immigrants, we’re proud of our roots. We honour and respect the trials and tribulations of our parents and our forefathers.

Their sacrifices made us who we are today. For us, it’s important that these stories, these rich histories and traditions be passed on to our next generation and generations to come.

Then I think of the 215 children buried in Kamloops and every other child who was put into a residential school. The authorities at the time did the exact opposite of what we’re trying to do now:

• Their names were taken away.
• They were forced to forget their language.
• Their traditions were ridiculed.
• Their culture was dismissed as primitive and savage.
• They were made to feel shame for being who they were.

All this, and that too on their own land. It’s one thing for us as the children of immigrants trying to hold onto our culture in a new country, but imagine being forced to do so on your own land.

Imagine someone coming to your home and telling you how you live, the way you raise your children, and everything you believe in is inferior and savage.

Then imagine them devising a way to eradicate your rich history by taking control of your children.

Vital Grandin, a Bishop and avid supporter of residential schools stated the following in late 1876, when speaking to the goal of residential schools:

“We instill in them a profound distaste for the native life so that they will be humiliated when reminded of their origin. When they graduate from our institutions, the children have lost everything Native except their blood.”

It’s sickening.

Imagine people like Grandin taking away your children, putting them in “schools” to make them forget everything about themselves. Picture your children receiving beatings, horrific abuse of every sort imaginable and living conditions too deplorable to describe. Imagine their names being taken away.

Imagine them being taught to hate the very blood that flows in their veins.

In the case of these 215, imagine your children losing their lives, simply because they were who they were.

It’s tempting to comfort oneself by looking at the date of this horrendous statement and think about all of this happening well over 100 years ago, but the Kamloops school closed in 1978.

The last residential school in Canada closed in 1996.

Let that sink in for a minute. Many of us can distinctly recall what we were doing in 1996; it wasn’t that long ago.

Canada is a beautiful country, which we are grateful to call home, but it also has a very dark past. As Canadians, we have a sacred obligation to understand and acknowledge the atrocities committed against the Indigenous people of the land we call home, but it doesn’t just stop at that. We also need to find a way to assist and support our Indigenous brothers and sisters in any way possible as they process and cope with the horrors they and their ancestors have been forced to endure.

Your pain is unique and deep, therefore we will never fully be able to grasp its extent, but we as a community stand with you, today and forever.

There has been a lot of talk over the last few days about the flag of India, with patriots accusing the farmers of disrespecting it. I will admit, although I could tell you what the flag is, I had no idea what it meant. Curiosity got the best of me, so I started looking into it further.

For those like me who didn’t know, each part of the flag has a very deep and significant meaning. A very brief summary of the meaning of each is as follows:

Saffron: Strength and courage.

White: Peace and truth.

Green: Fertility and growth; the importance of the land.

Chakra: The wheel itself is known as an “Ashoka Chakra” and has 24 spokes. They represent both the 24 hours in a day, as well as 24 virtues for life. Some of these virtues are sacrifice, hope, kindness, equality and awareness.

After reading this, I was left scratching my head. What was it that these so-called patriots were mad about? The protesting farmers live up to the definition of the flag and then some.

Proof?

Saffron (Strength and Courage): The protesters have been out on the cold streets for months. They’ve faced trenches, water cannons, beatings by those who should be protecting them, abuse from extremists and fanatics both physically and verbally, as well as baseless attempts at defamation – just to name a few things.

Take a look at the video of protester who had his sacred turban ripped off his head while being beaten mercilessly. When freed from the clutches of those assaulting him, he turned to a camera and smiled, stating that he and the other protesters would continue to fight for their rights, no matter what happened to them. He then turned to his abusers and roared the Sikh battle cry in defiance. If that’s not courageous, I don’t know what is.

White (peace and truth): The farmers have repeatedly said they do not want to be there. They are hundreds of miles away from their families and land. They want to go home. They’ve appealed to everyone that will listen to intervene. They just want their voices heard and their way of life to carry on. They’ve sat there for months, waiting peacefully. After repeated attempts to slander them, they created their own social media platforms to convey what the white in the flag represents – truth.

Green (fertility and growth): They’re FARMERS fighting for the right to keep their way of living. That’s the green personified.

The Ashoka Chakra: A quick recap of some of the 24 virtues they’ve displayed:

1. Sacrifice – People have lost their lives for what is right.
2. Hope – They’re still optimistic, despite each day bringing with it more outrageous stunts by those who would wish to see them ruined.
3. Equality – Hindu, Sikh, Muslim…all united as one to fight for their rights.
4. Kindness – They’re feeding the poor of their nation’s capital when they themselves eat.
5. Awareness – Take a look at your social media feeds. The farmers and their supporters are working day and night to bring what is happening to the world stage.

Now, look at the other side. You’ve got internet warriors with the Indian flag as their display pictures on various social media platforms trying to defame the protesters by calling them childish names, insulting their beliefs and posting pornographic images using hashtags related to faith and religion. These people are sitting behind computer screens doing the exact opposite of what the flag they hold so dear represents. Cowardice, lies, a disrespect for those that feed them. To top it all off, they display a blatant disregard for each and every one of 24 of the Ashoka Chakra’s virtues.

So, after all this research, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are definitely grounds to be upset about the disrespect for this mighty nation’s flag. The problem is that everyone seems to be mad at the wrong group, because the guilty are the one’s pushing the narrative.

Let’s change that.

Photo credit: www.inkquisitiveart.com

As we scroll through our social media feeds, viewing the images and videos coming out of the protest sites, a common theme emerges:

There is no despair or fear in the faces of the protesters. Instead, we see images and hear words of determination, hope and positivity.

Why is that?

It is because these men and women subscribe to a mindset that is unshakeable.

What’s it called?

Chardi Kala.

Chardi Kala describes a state of mind that has its very foundation built on unwavering optimism and positivity, even in the face of the most daunting of odds and obstacles.

What is happening to these people is not in their control, but their reaction to it is. In a situation where despair and depression would be understandable to most, they refuse to succumb to this path of darkness. Instead, they embody what Viktor Frankl so eloquently stated in “Man’s Search for Meaning”:

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

Their way of life is in jeopardy.

They could lose everything.

They are being painted by some as something they are not.

Despite all this, they choose to smile.

They choose to dance.

They choose to sing.

They choose to feed the authorities and the poor of Delhi when they themselves sit down to eat.

They know what is at stake, and they know how difficult this ordeal has been and will continue to be. They are aware that no end is yet in sight. There have been injuries, and unfortunately, some have even lost their lives. The longer this continues, numbers in both of these categories will rise. Despite this, these brave souls remain optimistic, for their resolve is unwavering.

They may not have had a choice in the passing of the bills they are protesting, but they will not let their way of life fade silently into the pages of history. They will face this fight with smiles and determination. They will continue to stand up for themselves, and they will do it with something no one can ever take away from them:

Chardi Kala.

As determined farmers from across India brave cold winter nights, sleeping on streets, tractors and in makeshift tents, it has been disheartening to see how poorly they have been portrayed by many media outlets. Joining these unprofessional organizations are hate-filled pseudo-celebrities and other ignorant people, all of whom are intent on misleading the world and discrediting these courageous men and women.

First and foremost, this is not about religion, so please stop trying to making it so. The fact that the vast majority of the protesting farmers belong to the Sikh faith does not make this a Sikh protest. This is about the rights of farmers as a collective, regardless of faith.

Your poorly thought-out news reports and baseless accusations made against the men and women protesting in India and abroad are a joke. You are accusing 70-80 year old people who have left their villages and farms behind of fanning the flames of intolerance and hatred, when in fact it is you doing so. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

This is yet another example of biased and irresponsible reporting and the spreading of misinformation. This tabloid-style approach will not work, because for every fake story you report and every false claim you share, we will share the truth.

We will show the world how the protesters are serving meals to the very people who are peppering them with tear gas and soaking them with ice cold water.

We will share images of Hindu, Muslim and Sikhs holding prayers – united.

We will continue to discredit your Kangana’s with our Diljit’s.

You see, there may be more of you and you might have more resources than us, but much like the 300 Spartans led by King Leonidas at Thermopylae, we will stand our ground. What differentiates us from the Spartans was that they were led by a man, who although great, is no match for what we are led by:

Love.

Your hate and lies will not win; they do not stand a chance.

You paint these farmers as uneducated simpletons, failing to realize that they made the decision to forgo their education so you and your families could have food on your tables.

Instead of gratitude, you look down on them. Shame on you.

Instead of holding them in high regard for their work ethic, determination and kindness, you attempt to vilify them. Shame on you.

You also fail to realize that although these farmers may not be as educated as you, their supporters are. Behind these men and women stand millions of people who possess all the academic accolades you hold in such high regard, and then some. We will not let you spread lies about them.

But, if after all this, you continue to paint this as a Sikh struggle, then we humbly request that you look at the very first word of our holy scripture, which we are confident you have never even attempted to read, let alone understand.

So let us educate you. The scripture does not begin with a word, but rather a number.

The number 1.
Unity.
Oneness.
Equality.
Love.

That is what this is about, and that is what we will continue to show.

Farmers from Punjab are peacefully marching in India, only to be met with barricades, water cannons and tear gas. Sitting thousands of miles away, it is easy to perceive this as happening in a distant place, thinking it doesn’t have much impact on us and our lives.

This could not be further from the truth, for many of us born and living abroad would have been a part of those marches had it not been for fortune, luck, kismet or whatever else you wish to call it.

We would have been those men and women we see pushing away those barricades.

We would have been the ones getting soaked with ice-cold water in a harsh North Indian winter.

Our parents would have been the elderly getting beat by sticks and doused with tear gas.

Just because we are not there doesn’t mean it doesn’t impact us. Much like the leaves on the most distant branches of a magnificent tree remain connected to its roots, we too have common roots and a deep connection with these men and women.

They are our parents, our brothers, our sisters…they are us. Within our veins runs the same blood, of warriors, poets, saints, and revolutionaries. We are those farmers.

We owe it to them to show our support in whichever way possible. Educate yourselves. Create awareness. Speak up.

For those who are not from Punjab but still trace their roots back to India, remind yourself that these are the descendants of the brave people who have defended the homeland of your forefathers from invaders for centuries. Without their sacrifice, it is likely the country you identify with would look quite different. They deserve your support.

If you are not Indian, the not too distant ancestors of these people served with great courage in almost every major global conflict over the last century. They have bled and died for our freedom, all without complaint, because it was the right thing to do. They deserve your support.

As we watch these men and women fight so valiantly for their livelihoods, I am reminded of the words of the great MLK:

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

We owe it to them to add our voices to theirs.