As is the case with most people, the recent events that have unfolded in Afghanistan have weighed heavily on my mind for the past few days. I’ve been trying to put the feelings I’m experiencing into words, but haven’t been able to do so in a manner that does them justice.
All that changed, however, when I walked in the door today and was greeted by my seven year old daughter, smiling ear-to-ear because she had learned to tie her own belt for jiu jitsu. As I looked down at her beautiful little face beaming with joy at her accomplishment, I started to feel that same feeling again in the pit of my stomach.
All of a sudden, it hit me:
The feeling I was experiencing was guilt.
As I gave her a hug, my mind wandered to the fact that girls as young as twelve are now being forced into marriages in some areas of Afghanistan.
12.
My daughter will be twelve in less than five years. Imagine raising a little girl in circumstances such as these, where you know some man much older than her will take her as a prize and treat her like property.
Imagine the feeling as a parent, knowing there is nothing you can do to prevent it.
It’s heartbreaking.
I find myself wondering what I would do if I was forced to endure these circumstances, but quickly snap myself out of it, reminding myself I’m not there. I’ve realized that this is precisely when the guilt kicks in.
I’m not there.
I don’t have to experience the horrors the men, women and children of Afghanistan are facing. I have the luxury of living in a country where I know my kids have the ability to reach for the stars. I don’t have to explain to my daughter why she’s no longer allowed to go school.
I’m not forced to tell her that she can’t do jiu jitsu anymore, along with all of the other activities she loves.
I don’t have to prepare her to become a bride in a few years, with assurances she’ll be ok, knowing full-well she won’t. My son won’t be raised to look at women as inferior and weak, and won’t be handed a semi-automatic weapon and trained to kill.
In short, I have it pretty good, which is exactly why I feel guilty.
Here we are, living relatively easy lives. Sure, we all have our issues and hurdles to overcome, but they pale in comparison to those which the people of Afghanistan are facing. I read a post somewhere today that said where we are born is a game of chance. Fortunately for us, we came up on the winning side of the game.
Unfortunately, those now facing very grim futures in Afghanistan didn’t.
Obviously, none of us had control over said game, so why the guilt? After racking my brain, I think I’ve figured it out, at least for myself.
Like most people, I’m outraged at what’s happening.
I’m looking for answers. I’m desperate to know the latest. I want to help. The problem is, these feelings are going to begin to fade in a while. The news outlets will focus on something else, and I’ll begin to slowly go back to my relatively comfortable life, accepting the fact that what happened in Afghanistan is what it is, and there’s not much I can do about it.
I believe that preventing this is the key to eradicating the guilt. None of us had the power to stop what happened, but we can each do our best to try to help those forced to live this nightmare. The following words from Viktor Frankl sum up the importance of doing so perfectly:
“For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best.”
The people of Afghanistan are facing an extremely difficult future. Things are bad, and if the past is a predictor of the future, then they’re going to get a lot worse. This is why each of us needs to do our best to help. If for you, this means a monetary donation, then donate. If it means giving your old clothing to refugees coming out of Afghanistan, then find a way to get it to them. If it means writing a letter to a prominent member of our community to urge them to act, then start writing. If you’re a person of faith, include the people of Afghanistan in your prayers everyday. Do whatever you can to help them.
Do.
Your.
Best.
As human beings, this is a sacred duty we all must honor. If our humanity and empathy for our fellow humans wavers at times like this, then the already prominent evil in this world will only get worse. As Frankl said, our best is what is required – nothing less will do.
Inevitably, there will come a time when you sense yourself caring less and forgetting about what’s happening and what’s at stake. When that time comes, look into the faces of the little girls in your life and picture them having to face the horrors mentioned above.
If that doesn’t motivate you to do your best, nothing will.
Image: Shamsia Hassani
